Ways To Work Towards Trust After An Affair Has Been Discovered By A Private Detective

What Can Cause An Affair

In a perfect world monogamy would be the ideal situation for people in relationships but the reality is that affairs happen and people get hurt.

Affair Has Been Discovered By A Private Detective

People get involved in affairs for all sorts of reasons; they don’t usually set out to cheat.

Generally an opportunity comes along that seems attractive at the time.

There are many reasons an affair starts, such as, there may have been a weakness in the relationship that can make a person vulnerable to taking an interest in someone else or it could be that working closely with someone can draw them to a colleague.

People usually enlist the services of a private investigator to carry out surveillance which will provide photographic or audio evidence to prove if there is an affair going on.

The professional private detective may also use a GPS vehicle tracker which will show exactly where they have travelled and how long they spend there.

Regardless of the reasons affairs happen, if a couple feel their relationship is worth saving they can learn to trust again but it will take some time.

How To Start To Trust Again

No feeling is worse than that of betrayal, especially when you’ve been deceived by someone you thought loved you.

By employing the services of a private investigator you will get absolute confirmation of the truth from the surveillance methods and devices they will use.

At first you may think there is no way back but the majority of couples do decide to give it another go rather than throw away everything they’ve had, especially if there are children involved.

The best starting point is to talk about what’s happened; communication is the key to recovery. It can be difficult to talk about the situation, as it can be so painful, so the help of a counsellor can be the way forward.

Counsellors are experienced in getting people to discuss their true feelings so that it becomes clearer whether or not they want their relationship to be rekindled.

By expressing these emotions there will be a starting point from which trust can start to be rebuilt.

Steps To Getting That Trust Back

  • Like any event that causes pain it takes time to recover from it. An affair is no different and some people will get over it quicker than others.
  • It’s generally thought that it can take up to 2 years, depending on how the partner who has been deceived handles the situation.
  • At first typical reactions to finding out the reality are feelings of anger, extreme hurt or humiliation.
  • Emotions are usually stretched to the limit in whatever extreme is felt. The cheater may feel some sort of relief that the truth is out, which doesn’t help the wounded party who may continue to have their partner’s moves tracked by a private investigator as they may not believe the affair is over.
  • The next step is really to try to work out why the affair happened in the first place. A couple may try to take stock of  what actually caused the affair to happen, which can be hard for the betrayed partner as in fact it may reveal some faults on their part.
  • It will be a very emotional time as both partners need to recognise their possible failings to enable them to move on.
  • The best way forward from this is to try to address the problems that could have been in the relationship to cause the affair to start in the first place.
  • Emotions may still run high but there should be some stability during this healing process.
  • By facing up to the weaknesses in the relationship before the affair a couple should be able to start to rebuild a new type of relationship.
  • They should by now be developing some sort of closeness and security in each other again. Trust will take time but can be established by providing opportunities for it to grow.
  • Continuing to communicate is the best way to strengthen a relationship to prevent future affairs. But if you become suspicious again you can get prompt answers from a professional private detective.


An affair can be a very damaging experience but there can be a happy future if steps are taken to regain trust.

Firstly you need to establish the truth, not go by hearsay; the best way is to contact a private investigator who will carry out surveillance or use a tracker to give you the facts.

You can get help from a counsellor but you can also rebuild trust by communicating and working together to develop a new closeness.

Charlie Hodgson is a private investigator who has many years’ experience working alone and with other private detectives such as Private Detective in London carrying out investigations and surveillance into cheating partners.

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