A Day In The Life Of Your Average Smartphone

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF YOUR AVERAGE SMARTPHONEIt all starts with you slamming my screen to turn off the alarm (I’m not a wind-up alarm clock!). Then you like to take me in the bathroom while you get ready so I can play your favorite music, but the water puddles and steam aren’t very helpful for me. After that, we go to work—but you always just toss me in your bag along with your bags of almonds and water bottle. Is it any wonder I could use a little more TLC?

I’m your smartphone and life is not all it’s cracked up to be. Though if things continue this way my screen might be. But I’ll be honest with you, I’m fragile and I don’t know how much abuse I can take. Fending off scratches from keys you toss in on top of me is one thing but then you let the kids play with me too. Danger is everywhere. I could really use some protection. I looked it up on The Street and almost two thirds of the damage caused to smartphones comes from dropping. But I have no case to shield me if you accidentally drop me attempting to text during our morning jog.

Let me ask you this, do you remember what happened to Bob from the coffee shop? How he cracked his screen when he left his phone on top of his car and it slid off in the parking lot? He complained for weeks about how expensive it was to fix that. I don’t want that to happen to us. It’s easy, get me a case. You could get an iPhone 4 case that would protect me from almost anything for a very reasonable price and it would be an excellent investment in our future. I love going to the gym with you and I’d love it even more if I didn’t have to worry about being dropped in the pool (I’m not a very strong swimmer.)

Speaking of water, you know how sometimes we like to go on walks in the park, and sometimes it starts raining? If I had a proper case that was waterproof, we wouldn’t have to worry about me getting wet. What I’m saying is you and I have had a lot of memories together. Memories like birthday parties, anniversaries, vacations, your sister’s graduation, a day at the zoo and our last hiking trip. If something happened to me, even if they could fix it we might lose some of those memories. Like that video of your uncle trying to dance at Thanksgiving. That was hilarious.  I want to be around for even more memories in the future.

So let’s take care of this. Let’s get me a nice protective case that will help keep me safe from all the things that might happen. We could order one online that’s designed to anticipate all of these possibilities and maybe even make me look more stylish in the process. I definitely wouldn’t mind looking a little slimmer for the summer. It’s a crazy world out there and in my experience it’s better to be safe than sorry. We want to be together for a long time to come, sharing experiences and memories safely without fear of scratching my screen or needing to send me in for repairs. While we’re on the subject I’ve noticed how much you love watching your Netflix app on the tablet while we’re hanging out on the patio. Maybe we could get an iPad case for him too. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.

Source: http://assets.nydailynews.com